Spiral reflection of relationship

Each new relationship in my life is a spiral reflection of past and current relationships. At the center of it all is my own self relationship, which I project into the world through my boundaries, standards, and terms.

The trick is not just to learn through relationships, but to do so in a way that changes the spiral. I think of it directionally.

If I go into a relationship feeling undeserving of this other person, which reminds me of similar past experiences that reinforce a story of self where I am less than worthy, then that spiral reflection will be pulling the relationship towards my expectation of undeserving.

If I go into a relationship feeling bountiful and clear, which reminds me of past healthy interactions that feed a story of self where I am loving and growing through life, then that spiral reflection will pull the relationship upwards toward my aspirational state of being.

How are you building the spiral reflections within your relationships?