Prayer as Transformational Self-leadership
Recently I have found myself praying for my heart to soften. At first I was praying for this because I wanted to know how to do it myself. Eventually I realized that prayer itself is the way for my heart to soften.
I've heard people explain that God's warming light can harden only the hearts of those who choose to built their hearts with clay. This is what happened to the Pharaoh in the book of Exodus. In contrast, those of us who build our hearts of wax experience the fireside melting glow of the Holy Spirit. Which has always begged the question for me: How can I build my heart with wax instead of clay?
Perhaps the answer starts with acknowledging that maybe I don't have control over my heart. As much as my mind may strive, it certainly does not have direct control over my heart. Yet God gives me the ability to pray. To pray for my heart to be made of receptive spiritual wax.
Perhaps it is in the conscious choice to lift up that desire to God that I begin to transform my heart from clay to wax. Perhaps prayer is the greatest form of leadership because it allows us to aspire to a transformation that we cannot comprehend.
Without prayer the progress of our formation is limited by what we can conceptualize and actualize. With prayer the potential of our spiritual formation becomes unlimited. And so I pray that the words of my prayers become beacons of truth for my soul. And to my mind, which has a hard time surrendering to unknown possibilities. And to my heart, which often has a hesitation of fear before trusting the incomprehensible.
Sometimes it's hard to follow a distant light on what sometimes feels like an uncertain path. Yet if I pray repeatedly it just might orient me toward that light. Even when I can't see the light myself. Especially when I can't see the light myself.
When is your spiritual growth limited by your understanding, and how might praying be a key to transformation of your heart?