You are what you “eat”
The wise discern what to
1. Put in their mouth
3. Spit out
Or any combination thereof.
I'm not talking about food.
Too often I've attempted to take on, chew and swallow everything. Societal fear of the unknown. Irrational concerns of a neighbor. Confused beliefs of a friend. Toxic anger of a family member. Hateful spirit of an acquaintance.
If these are not mine, then why do I keep trying to digest them all?
Lord, help me to be more discerning of what I put into my mind, body, heart, soul, and spirit!
What might you be chewing on today that it's time to spit out?
Can and Will
Sometimes I can but I won't.
Tank is empty.
What's wrong with me.
Sometimes I can't but I will.
Must keep moving.
Can't stop won't stop.
Where can you...? When will you...?
What new balance might life be calling you into?
When you were a baby, you cried without understanding why
With years have come wisdom; born of experience and courage
Rest not in your understanding;
else it keep you from feeling
Matter explodes into something new called space
Energy expands and disperses
Leaving the matter to itself
As chaos drives the need for order
So does order demand chaos for it's very existence
Perhaps we are all part of one journey from anxiety to peace
Heart feels it all yet keeps the beat
Body leaps and aches but lands on its feet
Soul stands still.
Grasping doesn't get it
To want with insecurity is not to desire
It is a wish upon a star too distant to know by name
It is to grasp with fingers incapable of holding that which could otherwise be obtained
It is to reach too far beyond the artificial desire of insecurity
Like a magnet facing backward, pushing away it's counterpart
Too often we grasp at an unfamiliar wish
Instead of preparing to accept our deepest desires
Where are you grasping when you might be receiving?
A rather big lie
I have tried to understand
I have feared it to be impossible to love God fully and be alive in this world
What big lie are you afraid of facing?
Key means of Truth seeking
-Curiosity and faith
-3rd person perspective
-Saving the appearances
-Looking into/beyond the veil
I was insecure in my willingness to commit
Because I got hurt so badly
Because I doubted in one moment more than any other
There might be no match for me
I was terrified of being absorbed into someone else's life
It felt safer to seek relationships that didn't quite work,
Allowing a sense of safety, maybe even a renewed feeling of control over my own life
Then again maybe my standards were high because I was resolved not to settle
I moved further from authentic emotional experience into abstractions of reality
A sort of manufactured emotional pornography
Further from nature, gender, truth, and faith
Attempting yet again to leave the garden of Eden
I feared acceptance
Terrified of disappearing
Needing to hide again to survive
As I woke up each day in someone else's story
I was. Were you?
If inside I am boiling, but I need to avoid boiling over for the sake of goodness, what's the best path forward in the moment? Afterward?
Over time would an over- or under-attentiveness to emotions become an addiction and thought pattern of its own?
God, please help me to acknowledge the truth of emotions that point in the direction of your larger and greater truth.
Deliver me from becoming addicted to the highs and/or lows of intense emotions, that I might rest in the greater truth in between.
Show me when it's time to express and when it's time to practice restraint.
Come Holy Spirit!
How do you handle big feelings?