I have long enjoyed the hit of pride when I get validation from someone important to me. Who doesn't, right?
My parents have been visiting me in my home the past few days. This morning I chose to sleep in, and I felt a twinge of shame as I woke a few hours after my Mom and Dad.
But as I poured myself a cup of coffee, my Mom exclaimed joy at my long night of sleep. She expressed belief that I must have needed it. Suddenly I felt validated, even somehow proud, of my extended slumber.
Throughout this journey from shame to pride, where was I? Truth be told I wasn't shameful or prideful. Those feelings were both attached to external relationships and judgement of others. I know this in my mind, but the work is to integrate it into my moment to moment awareness. I can remind myself that I am whole.
Where are you seeking validation when you already know you are whole?