yourintrinsicself

Reflections on life, truth, faith, love, introspection, and transformation.

Commitments and Intentions

I commit to specific actions, such as going to the gym 3x this week or drinking no more than 1 cup of caffeinated coffee tomorrow morning.

I hold intentions more loosely, wherein I intend to smile at strangers, be more mindful as I work, and generally take phone calls while walking instead of sitting.

For a long time I attempted to manage my life through commitments. Now I have the intention of living more through intentions than commitments, so that I more humbly acknowledge the limitations of my planful behavior. Wish me luck!

Moving and crying

This week I moved out of a nice apartment I had for about half a year. Sure, some memories were made, but largely this place was a temporary landing spot.

But when I was leaving for the last time I started to cry. My emotions didn't make sense, but I still felt them. I felt sad because I was letting go of my temporary home. It seemed like a disproportionate response, so I let go of my judgement and let the tears flow.

Can you feel your emotions without them making sense?

Waking up

I work hard, consciously and unconsciously, to make sense of the world around me.

Sometimes an experience arrives that challenges the way I see the world. When this happens I feel fear; at times sadness, anger, guilt, and shame show up as well.

These difficult emotions are my resistance to the truth I do not yet understand. They show me that change is underway, and true change is never easy or effortless.

Today I seek to welcome fear, that I might learn through the uncertainty of what I do not yet understand.

Right and wrong... incorrect?

For most of my life I've experienced the world with the lens of right and wrong.

I'm beginning to realize that this judgment of justice is highly subjective. Perhaps the truth of this existence is beyond my own sense of right and wrong.

Where is your sense of justice keeping you from truth?

My meditation, prayer, and mindfulness practices have brought a new sense of peace as I let go of details. I am also releasing attachment to my sense of control and illusion of being able to plan for anything.

With this sense of peace comes a fear that the peace will dissociate me from reality. Especially as a parent, I feel fear that feeling such peace may lead me away from the responsibilities I hold dear to my heart.

“I am afraid I am becoming less aware.” I said today to a trusted, wise, and beloved old friend.

“I hear nothing that indicates you are becoming less aware.” He replied. “In fact, I hear many signs that indicate you are becoming more aware.”

My mind is pretending not to understand.

My heart knows he is right.

Where is your mind playing tricks on you these days?

Beauty and truth

Many have said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But wouldn't it be more accurate to say that beauty is in the choice of the beholder? For it is my choice more than my eye that brings me to beauty. My eye follows me when I decide to wonder at a beautiful crack in the sidewalk, appreciate fine art, or even take in a performance.

Where can you decisions bring more beauty to your eye?

Fear of losing self in meditation

Sometimes I feel such a deep peace in meditation that I feel afraid that I might get lost in it. Long deeper into this fear, I find that I don't fully trust a mindful life to bring success and purpose.

There is a story in my unconscious that says being at peace throughout the day means not getting anything done.

Today I am seeking to rewrite that story by being productively mindful and at peace.

Care to join me?

Robots and humans

No matter how advanced robots get, they will never be human.

The complexity of dancing between thought and feeling can not be programmed.

How could we ever know a robot or machine to be self aware, if we can not even know that other humans are so without learning into faith?

Morning new beginnings

Every morning is a new start. Today I want to live with joy and faith.

What are you calling into your life this morning?

Dancing with perfection

I have often caught myself living in future scenarios that are perfect, where everything has finally clicked into place.

I have often resisted being fully present to the perfection of having all I need and more in the present moment.

This dance with perfection tends to leave me hopeful and exhausted.

How are you dancing with perfection? Who is the lead?

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