Sunshine on my face
Bright light warms my skin
Perfectly balanced to bring heat without harm
Like a hug from a giant who knows not to squeeze too hard
I feel alive
Knowing this is the same sun that warmed the tomato plant that made it's way into my breakfast
Knowing this is the same sun that warmed the faces of my ancestors and will warm the faces of my children
Knowing this is the same sun that warms the faces of those I've never met as well as those who have sought to harm me in the past
I give thanks
Spiral reflection of relationship
Each new relationship in my life is a spiral reflection of past and current relationships. At the center of it all is my own self relationship, which I project into the world through my boundaries, standards, and terms.
The trick is not just to learn through relationships, but to do so in a way that changes the spiral. I think of it directionally.
If I go into a relationship feeling undeserving of this other person, which reminds me of similar past experiences that reinforce a story of self where I am less than worthy, then that spiral reflection will be pulling the relationship towards my expectation of undeserving.
If I go into a relationship feeling bountiful and clear, which reminds me of past healthy interactions that feed a story of self where I am loving and growing through life, then that spiral reflection will pull the relationship upwards toward my aspirational state of being.
How are you building the spiral reflections within your relationships?
Time binding and time transcendence
The concept of time binding is fascinating. Unique to humans, this ability allows us to connect various events and experiences into stories, lessons, and even identities.
Many have argued that this time binding ability is what makes us humans different from all other animals. I have long found these arguments convincing.
However, this morning it feels that my humanity is much more rooted in my ability to transcend time than to bind it. When I am fully present I feel more human than ever, which is a timeless and unbound state.
What makes you human? Can you bind and transcend time?
Order and purpose
Life has a certain order to it. In the morning I see a sunrise. In the evening I see a sunset. Sometimes the clouds get in the way of my view, and their rain brings water to the earth.
For this order to exist, each interconnected aspect serves some purpose. Sunlight brings energy. Nature provides sustenance. Etc. Etc.
As a human, I can find, make, and describe meaning, order, and purpose in myriad ways. The confusion of so many descriptions and stories has long clouded my awareness from seeing this simple 2 part truth:
- My life exists within some form of order, and I have the ability to create meaning;
therefore purpose is available to me if I choose it.
- My role in this life is never fully under my control nor fully comprehensible by my human mind, thus I will never fully understand my purpose.
Once you accept that you have an purpose beyond your understanding, would you be willing to spend a lifetime embodying and seeking that which you were made to be?
I'm down. Care to join me?
Fear and adversity
Without fear, I can not overcome fear.
Without sadness, I can not grieve loss.
Without shame, I can not set my own boundaries with full awareness.
Without guilt, I can not learn from my mistakes.
Without anger, I can not tell when I am at risk and when I am at peace.
The key is to fully feel and move into and through the feelings. Not to get stuck in them, but to invite and honor them so that they might transform from enemy to teacher.
Where in your life can you learn and grow through your feelings?
Austrian novelist, playwright, and poet Thomas Bernhard (February 9, 1931–February 12, 1989) once wrote,
“If we observe very carefully someone who is walking, we also know how he thinks. If we observe very carefully someone who is thinking, we know how he walks. If we observe most minutely someone walking over a fairly long period of time, we gradually come to know his way of thinking, the structure of his thought, just as we, if we observe someone over a fairly long period of time as to the way he thinks, we will gradually come to know how he walks… There is nothing more revealing than to see a thinking person walking, just as there is nothing more revealing than to see a walking person thinking… Walking and thinking are in a perpetual relationship that is based on trust.”
How do you walk? How do you think? Any opportunities for growth in either?
Meditate on work terms
I have a complex job, so I choose to set terms by which I operate. They are as follows:
- Show up as myself at work, present and authentic.
- Balance my roles as Father and provider.
- Consummate professional.
What terms might you work by in your life?
Fear, learning, truth, and illusion
What are you most afraid of?
When I'm afraid I tend to avoid my fear, so that I don't get too much of it at once. I'll carry my fear with me, but keep it away from my awareness because it scares me.
My toddler child taught me a profound lesson yesterday. When she is afraid she screams and cries. She fully feels her fear. I went to the bathroom and she was afraid I was gone forever. Her screams of “Daddy!” were heartbreaking, but they subsided once I came back out. By feeling her fear, she learned that the fear was attached to an illusion. She knows it was temporary, and is learning more and more that even though she can't see me I will be right back.
What if you felt your fear fully? What might you learn to be illusion and what might turn out to be true?
Love stories
Growing up I heard many love stories, and most of them were about romance. Two people find one another somehow, perhaps encounter some difficulty, and eventually end up finding fulfillment in their emotional relationship with one another.
In becoming a father to a little human, I've realized that the love she and I share is more powerful than any romantic relationship I've ever had. Moreover, the commitment for a lifetime of love and dedication is effortless and infallible. I will always be her father, and she will always be my child.
This context of love has reminded and invited me to appreciate my own parents in ways I never have before. Their love has sometimes been shared in ways I would not have chosen, but nonetheless they have been, and always will be, my parents.
Feeling deeper into this unconditional love, I realize that I have a relationship with myself that I can choose to live out of love. I am me. I always have been and always will be. Talk about commitment!
What non-romantic love (familial, paternal, maternal, or otherwise) in your life might be worthy of a story book?
Smiling at strangers
Today on my morning drive to the office, a 30-something year old woman crossed the street in front of me. She wasn't crying, but even from a car length away and from the side; her face looked sad.
I immediately felt the inclination to smile at her and place my hand on my heart. I did so, knowing it might make me look crazy to the drive in the car next to me. The woman didn't turn or see my action.
A few seconds later, as this stranger walked past my car, I saw her lips turn slightly upward into a slight grin. Not a smile, and not even a full grin, but a slight grin. Coincidence? Interconnected emotional landscape? Medium-distance telepathic hug? I have no idea, but it sure did feel wonderful to see what woman's frown turn into a slight grin on my way to work.
Have you ever received joy from watching a stranger smile?